This book is similar to the clique but it won’t be published here’s what I have so far:
Shelby slid her oversized D&G Sunglasses over her eyes. She pivot turned towards her full length to “over examine” her outfit. She wore an Ella Moss red and white spaghetti strap paired with Denim shorts, on her feet she wore Juicy Couture thong sandals, hanging from her neck was a Daisy necklace, and slung over her shoulder was a Kate Spade Pink tote which carried all her necessities. She then moseyed over to her iHome Speakers and scrolled down to If you Seek Amy.
Oh baby baby have you seen Amy tonight?
Shelby bobbed her head to the catchy tune, and then took a seat at her vanity mirror ready to work on her makeup. She carefully swiped Maybelline mascara on her eyelashes, then slowly applied Kiss-Me-Mint lip gloss on her lips making them look naturally reflective. For an exotic look she used light green eye shadow instead of her usual pink.
Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
The song was drowned out by her mother’s voice on Shelby’s intercom installed in her room “Shelby sweetie, Luis is ready to take you to school.” Her mother, Sylvia said. “Oh-Kay Mom, see you and dad after school.” She spoke back into the white speaker. Instantly, she put away her makeup and grabbed her favorite scent, Viva La Juicy. She sprayed it then inhaled grinning. Faster than you can say Burberry, she rushed out of her room. Careful not to trip on her white spiral staircase, she walked gracefully like a ballerina in a jewelry box she once owned.
How do you like it? Is it like Massie? Thanks<3 bye. NO hate
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
It sounds more like a commentary at a fashion show than a story.
What is the main conflict?
I think books like this were made for shallow people with no sense of self or life, or any self confidence if they’re always hiding behind designer clothing and accessories.
You definitely know how to explain to the reader what happening. When I was reading, I could definitely picture everything you were saying. But I do agree with the person above me: What the conflict? If the story continues just like this, not very many people are going to be interested. I understand this is probably one of the first chapters, where the conflict isn’t introduced yet, but it would be nice to know.