Can you close your eyes and go somewhere, comments on poetic prose?

For no reason at all, at least none that I knew
my mind took me again to the Big Red Barn.
It was just as we had left it not long ago and
like Alice in Wonderland and her looking glass,
one swing of those huge paneled doors
flipped a magical switch, awakening
cherished sights and sounds.
They came to life like a pink ballerina twirls
when the lid of a child’s jewelry box is lifted.
I swear the laughter was palpable as
I smelled the booze and the sweat.
Wide open smiles worn on faces I loved
warmed any chill that I had.
The music was lively and dancing was wild
as I made my way across dirt floor.
Closing my eyes to breathe it all in,
I delighted in this rich fantasy.
Sending my thanks to the builder of barns
and to you who fill them right up to the rafters
with your endless laughter and love.

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

BillyCostigan

The Barn has no clock
Time has no business being there
We flock because it’s home.

The BBQ’s are inviting
The sounds and memories delighting
We always come back because it’s ours.

johnny trash

maybe not ”poetic”…..but i can take my self back

Semper Fi ReBirth 09

Closing my eyes to breathe it all in….. Now there’s the rub.

I need more Cowbell!®

I like that, I think there’s a "Big Red Barn" in almost all of us!

Ice

I grew up on a farm. Now I need to write a pome about barn doors.

And this sounds like square dancin’! Yee Haw!

BlueBelle Got Spanked ©

I read it, then closed my eyes and went to the barn. Then I read it again and I am warm. I want to dance…

Kyuuzuryu

This is really nice… I second BlueBelle’s answer…

Buk

She waits on the hill….

Law Man

Hi Ma,
I love how you Reveal the often overlooked Space that is exactly between Fantasy and Reality.

Reality —- (Here) —- Fantasy

(I ran out of stars again today. I wanted to give this poem 2 stars.)

Happy Hiram

By the time I get to "cherished sights and sounds." I am so out of breath I almost have an asthma fit.

After "pink ballerina twirls", child’s jewelry box is lifted" becomes a tongue twister. The long lines here do not serve to improve the imagery, they just bog down.

It all sounds like that movie "Barnyard" is this real? It seems exaggerated, maybe the breathiness of it makes it seem like it is trying too hard.

Thanks.

Cilla ҉

What Blue and K said.

Hippie Chick

I too do that often times when I want to escape to my "safe and loving" place. Do you smell the bon fire and sit back to just take it all in?

Andrew M

Yes I can and do at times reading your poem transported there Ma!!We all have someplace we go to that’s safe a Barn, The Lake ………
Usually I have people say to me I’ll close my eyes and you go somewhere!…….

*Jellz*

I used to just sit quietly under a tree, on the little hill not far from the panel doors (sort of back of the parking area) and watch and listen to all the goings on. The music carried very well and the laughter boomed from time to time. Occassionally I would peak in the window and still felt happy. (I get a lil claustro in crowds so i don’t join in) I managed not to get caught by the folks in Smokers Corner. I swear I would see the Barn sway back and forth sometimes. Those party nights are magic, even for me.

Thanks for sharing this ma!

SIN

Ah yes..peeking over the edge of the hay filled loft. You paint a memory!

Dondi

I can close my eyes and go anywhere I desire, and be anyone I want, and have anything I desire. All things are at my whims while my eyes are closed.

nurse.susie has heart

It is so real a place to many of us. A place of friends and fun. The smells, sights and sounds so easily come when I close my eyes. Thanks ma for reminding me that I was long over due for a visit there!